We’ve been living with family for the last few months since selling our house to move overseas, which means 7 kids in one house. It’s all sorts of crazy, but somehow we’ve managed to find some silver lining in the humor of it all.
Things I’ve learned living in a house with 7 kids
- You pick your battles. And that includes which crayoned or markered surface you’re going to clean when all the little grimies are finally tucked away in bed.
- Clean is a relative term. And more than likely involves only the category of things you currently have time for… Cheerios, toys, art supplies, boogers…
- You will lose something in the toilet or trash at some point during the week.
- There may be at least one child that likes your cooking.
- They never all get sick at once. It’s a 7-week process.
- Quiet is no longer lack of noise. It’s which children are currently absent from the group.
- Windows make a wonderful canvas. Except when the artistic child decides the windowsill/frame/wall needs some art also.
- Ok, so they used the wrong toothbrush. But at least they brushed their teeth.
- The non-matching sock fad was started by a mom. (We’ve actually taken apart a washer and dryer and NEVER FOUND ANY.)
- It’s not uncommon for a loaf (or more) of bread to disappear during one meal.
- Meals for moms look entirely different than meals for kids. Usually they involve taking spoonfuls out of the pot itself BEFORE the food is dished out and spread across every clean surface (reference #4).
- Three words for sugar. DON’T DO IT.
- There comes a point in the day when, rather than squelch the deafening roar, you try to encourage yourself that “at least they’re getting some energy out.”
- You find yourself giving inner counseling around 5pm every day regarding the number of hours/minutes/seconds left until bedtime.
- Forget breaks. They will find you. And usually within 2.5 seconds.
- Never will you have a shortage of little people wanting to be held or tickled (and usually all at once).
- There is always someone who wants food. Even if they’ve just had a three-course meal. If you want it all to yourself, you’ll have to eat it after bedtime, in the closet, in the dark.
- If you run out of toilet paper, you never have to worry about having a runner eagerly waiting outside the door to grab it for you.
- There’s always at least one child asking for another sibling.
- Once you pass a certain number of kids, people stop commenting on how many you have and just start getting out of the way.
- When something goes awry, you can bet a giant bar of imported dark chocolate that the culprit will gladly divulge any secrets other than the ones you’re interested in.
- Disciplinary action to one quickly brings the rest back in line.
- Acting and drama are a natural ability for all children.
- We rate temper tantrums on how hard they make us laugh.
- I always feel like the most important big person EVER.
To all my dear friends and family: I do want to talk to you, but you may want to call back in a few years. Or text and not expect a response until my next 2.5 second bathroom break.