There are several things that, as a non-parent, you just don’t know… And parents don’t really fill you in on until absolutely necessary. However, I WISH I would have known these things (at minimum) before having kids. It just would have made me feel slightly more… Prepared.
Although nothing can truly prepare you for having kids except actually having them, hopefully this list will help anyone prepping for the journey and make those of us who have already been there get a good laugh. :) Feel free to add your own in the comments!
10 things people don’t tell you about having kids {Especially #3}
You will survive on less than 8 hours of sleep for days on end {Ok… Who am I kidding… I can’t remember the last time I got 8 hours}.
You will, at some point, end up with a child’s bodily fluids (poo, pee, puke, etc) on your hands or {more likely} in your hair, mouth, nose, or other unforseen places. It will be completely unexpected.
You may likely pee your pants unintentionally. Especially while {very} pregnant, but also quite possibly when you’re not, or done having kids altogether. They have a name for this {LBL–Light Bladder Leakage}. But Poise has it solved. {Find out how by clicking HERE.}*
You will discover new recesses of energy you didn’t think you had after spending long nights feeding a baby, cleaning up puke {see #1}, cuddling a child after a nightmare, and providing more fluids {all at separate intervals} than previously thought possible for a human to consume.
A trip to the grocery store by yourself {for 15 minutes} will feel like a long, luxurious vacation. So will a 5-minute shower. Or a plate of {actually} hot food, or cup of {actually} hot coffee.
Kids pick the most inopportune times to be in dire need of attention. For instance, when you have already had to pee for the last hour {again, enter Poise}. Or when you’re already 20 minutes late getting out the door.
Most of the time, you won’t be able to get them to eat all the food groups in one sitting. IT’S OKAY. Fruit and grains for breakfast, smorgasbord for lunch, and good protein and greens with dinner (or any variation thereof). Just as long as they’re not eating empty carbs all day. Incorporate in smoothies (“OOHH MILKSHAKES!!!”) and other disguises when necessary.
You will develop superhuman abilities: i.e. catching falling things in mid-air {including puke… *guilty*}, surviving on far less sleep than you ever expected you could {see #1}, and tuning out screaming children. Yes, I feel horrible doing it, and yes, sometimes it’s absolutely necessary for sanity. #dontjudge
If you choose to, having several kids at close intervals is actually EASIER. Yes, you read that right. They want to take care of each other by default, and want to help you with everything {even before they actually can}. It does mean more laundry and more food to make and more diapers to change, but your house may actually {gasp} end up cleaner and your family happier. Just be prepared for a lot of noise. ;)
THERE IS NO MANUAL. Every child is different. This can freak you out, or give you an opportunity to roll with it and grow. Choose the latter, it’s so much more rewarding.
* If you deal with LBL in any form, take it from me–the SAM microliner by Poise is one of the lightest, thinnest forms of protection you will find. It neutralizes odors and gives you the confidence to go anywhere and do {almost} anything without worrying if a sneeze or a chuckle {or chasing after a runaway toddler} might land you an unpleasant result. Still not convinced? Get your FREE SAMPLE HERE. And thank them for their generosity in sponsoring this fun post.
Oh yeah.. each child is different. Loved this post and your pic Stephanie. You and your family look like us! Lol! you even look like me. Have fun, stay blessed.
Hoping from your pinterest board.
Haha aww! Glad you liked it. :) Hopped by your site as well, looks like we would hit it off–I love crochet too! ;)
Sweet memories! I’m a mom of four, and now a grandma of seven. I think the only thing you may have left out – or maybe just not fully elaborated on – is your own bathroom time. Five minutes alone is optimistic, lol! And that’s if you have boys (three of mine are) , and that’s only till they’re 10 or 11. After that age, the boys are too embarrassed to walk in on you, with girls you’ll, never have a moment! However, I’d never give up a single moment. I have plenty of privacy now that my nest is empty. That is until the grands visit!
Haha! I loved reading your comment, Jane! :) It’s true, I wouldn’t give up a moment either. Thanks for stopping by!