If your toddler is anything like my toddler, they are always trying to do new daring, dangerous, or just plain comical things. Why? Because YOLO, mom!
(If you’re like me and have to Google 99% of abbreviations used these days, YOLO stands for You Only Live Once. Which pretty much sums up every toddler’s mission in life, IMO… Yeah, yeah, “In My Opinion.”)
Crazy things all toddlers try… That we really wish we could do, too
- One of the first things my second child tried to get away with was climbing up and then STANDING ON tables… In all of 2.5 seconds. Pretty sure this feels like being on top of Mount Everest for an 18-month-old. Which, yeah, I’d LOVE to be able to say I’ve climbed, but I don’t have near the energy levels of my toddler.
- Since they have no real concept of cleanliness yet at the tender age of one, toddlers will eat nearly ANYTHING. Anything on the floor, that is. Spoon-feeding is so last month. It would be amazing if this attitude carried into culinary experiences other than dustbunny-covered cheerios. Bleck.
- If you have a toddler who you’ve been fortunate enough to actually potty train, you can definitely expect them to GO COMMANDO at some point. I wish I had this kind of confidence. Let’s not even talk about swim suit season. Suffice it to say we use lots of Cottonelle Flushable Wipes and CleanRipple Toilet Paper. Lots and lots. (You can never have enough toilet paper and wet wipes in a house full of kids… Go here for a free sample if you want to know what I’m talking about.)
- With a newly-inaugurated walker (and then runner) testing the limits of their abilities, you can almost be sure they’ll take off with no apparent direction when you least expect it. I don’t understand this, but still wish I could do it. Though keeping up with them is absolutely exhausting. So maybe not.
- Why, WHY do toddlers always have to squish their little faces on EVERYTHING. Right, sensory development… So, can I lick the next cake I see sitting out at the bakery? Because… Preggo cravings. Wait, that isn’t a good enough excuse? *Pouty face*
- Though toddlers always seem to have an inhuman amount of energy, they can also crash at a moment’s notice. I can’t count all the times we’ve been in the middle of an outing and I’ve looked back at my littlest to find them completely out. How awesome would it be if it was acceptable for parents to fall asleep in the middle of random events. Yeah, not happening anytime soon. That’s definitely NSFW. (My bad… Not Safe For Work. See? I teach.)
- Ever try taking away your kiddo’s fav toy when it’s time to leave the house/eat/go to bed? I think this about sums it up: “NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” My littlest has recently coined the phrase, “DON’T WANT! DON’T WANT!!” …Though I’d love to be able to scream when something goes wrong sometimes (like spilling freshly made coffee all over the floor/cabinets/hubby’s toast–two days ago–or stubbing my toe on the five millionth toy left in a doorway), I don’t think that would probably go over very well.
- Pretty sure this is a toddler standard–food fights. Brilliant use of leftovers, I must say (I hate throwing those out after storing them in the fridge for weeks as much as the next mom), but not exactly proper etiquette. Though I’d quite like to try it myself some days. Oh, you don’t want to eat the meal you told me five seconds ago was your fav thing EVER? How about you wear it instead. HAH. Yeah, no. (Okay, okay… I can be snarky, but I’m a better mom than that. Most days. ;) )
If you had as many laughs reading this as I had writing it, you should definitely check out our amazing sponsor. Cottonelle gave us free toilet paper and wipes aka GOLD, and they have some reserved for you, too, as part of their hilariously awesome #GoCommando campaign. (I’m sure they’d be super happy if you tweet them with that hashtag, too.)
So go get some, for the love of streaking toddlers everywhere. Oh and swim suit season. Yeah, that…
For more parental amusement (though your mileage may vary), see things my kids have made with my personal items, or real uses for common baby items. And if you’re not already following our craziness, you definitely need to go like our Facebook page for more awesome.